Extroverted Introvert

I read a thing again. I feel this is going to be a common theme…

But 

I both love being alone and reading and binge watching Jaiden Animation videos (google it!) but then at the same time… I crave attention. I crave to be the best at something, have people listen to every syllable: have a voice.

As you can probably tell, I like humour. My humour is 98% of my personality with the last 2% being Being Human and Jaiden Animations. I want to use this humour. To have a voice that can make people laugh while talking about something interesting and engaging. My mind takes to YouTube… but that’s a shitstorm. Animation is fun but I can’t draw. Vlogging is a no no because my face is a no no. Some people do a podcast but they always seem too chatty and too long for consistent humour.

Soooooo, in this post I have tried to create more of a voice! A colloquial but chirpy mirage that is hiding the blank face that types this.

I just googled extroverted introvert and it sounds nothing like me!

Agh I am honestly hating this.
I want voice, not words on a page but there is no platform for me to express this without it having some kind of barrier.

Short story idea: my life

The fact it’s a short story is ironic because me.

Right, so it would be third person, #obvs.

It would have to stray away from all steryotypes. OOOOhHHH It could be really poetic like ‘Grief is the thing with feathers’. (awesome book)

It used loads of poetic devices that gave it an amazing voice.

Okay, a big part is that I like to pretend to be smart. Noticing insignificant things and tying them into a theme or idea.

I think I am going to re-read it. It was confusing and amazing. Agh, right now I feel very extroverted. I want to have someone sitting in front of me. OH SHIT

That’s an ideaaa, right, maybe a ghost story. YAS. Lost sister? Maybe, not daughter or lover, it’s too on the nose (another thing I hate, like blatant Jesus imagery in films).

I want it to be ironic.

For example, the ghost would never wear white or enter from a white glow because it doesn’t matter if you are living in a perfect place with God and all his #HolyHomies, it is how you perceive where you that makes it good or bad.

Two sisters. I don’t like naming characters. I think it… takes away from them. Because everyone views names differently. People know people with names, and the views of those people can get stuck onto the people.

I wish I could draw. I am imagining this so clearly right now and it is killing me. I feel this would make a much better feature film but I don’t have the actors, money or time to make one of them bad boys. YeS I think feature films are the bad boys of cinematography.

So, I think it should flip the dead person story on its head. The ghost is pining for the person rather than the other way round. Now I have to figure out why the person isn’t being all boo hoo about it. Maybe she’s logical. Like me? Understands there is no point crying over split milk! OOOOH ghosts are white, milk is white. #fun that doesn’t work but I can dream! ^_^

I want the film…

I just typed that

This a short story! But… I can imagine it so clearly as a film. Fuckity.

It want the story….. to finish in recognition, a look from the starting positon from the bed. AND it won’t start at a funeral like every other teen story, describing the rain and gravestones in too much detail.

BOOM, to show the persons indifference to her sisters death (man is feeling some twin vibes) she could, if she visits the grave, describe/list aspects of other graves but barely her sisters.

Maybe the other girl is on the spectrum. Would explain the lack of empathy. But I don’t want it to be a Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time type shenanigans.

Would it be bullshit if she didn’t mourn her sister because she could see her as a ghost and didn’t feel she lost anything?

I feel this, even though in third person, should be primarily from the ghosts perspective as is possibly the funnier character; chirping in and correcting her sister and making ironic comments. Maybe some direct address? But I don’t want it to be a comedy. Maybe some really dry humour to keep it interesting.

Mayybbeee I could go really basic and hae ghosty think her and her siter told eachother everything when actually persony was living her own personal life. LIVING being the proper word. With showing that how the ghost spenther time when alive wasn’t really living. MEANING THAT THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY IS THE EXPLAN THAT LIVING IS HAVING BLOOD CIRCULATING YOUR CELLS ITS HAVING SHITS AND GIGGLES WITH FRIENDS. EXPERIENCING SHIT AND DOING HEROIN!

less so the last part but hey ho

Everything’s Been Done

People tell me I’m creative. I both completely agree and disagree.

I did a five second google about an hour ago looking for how to… I don’t even know. I enjoy writing, mainly creative writing in general, but I never have the time to do it. Or at least that is what I tell myself. This website told me that  I should:

“start a blog. Give yourself a public space in which to write, put your voice out there, and stick to a regular writing schedule”

That was step two out of fourteen but the rest can go fuck themselves because I cannot be bothered to read (how ironic). It says to ‘stick to a regular writing schedule’ but that is beyond unlikely. If I am totally honest I will never look back at this page ever again, and read this in a years time and be like ‘who is this moron trying to be funny?’

So, why am I writing this blog? I AM BORED. I want a project, to keep my self busy. I have tried gaming, origami because I am so unique (^_^), script writing and just binge watching Netflix (it should be considered a hobby). So this project, it needs to be simple, something I can spend half an hour on every day. It can’t be too distracting because I have exams in four months-ish. Also needs to be something I do with my hands because I am very fidgety: I will do work just so I have something to fiddle with.

So naturally I chose creative writing. Which is very complicated, takes up a lot of time, is very distracting buuttt I get to type, which I can do 🙂

I will (probably won’t) use this blog to track my ideas, progress and things I’ve written. If by the one in a million chance you’re reading this I will set up an email if you wish to contact my ass.

I feel as a first post I should tell you about myself. I’m sixteen and am human. That’s pretty much all feel like exposing because stop asking too many questions. I may not always post about my attempts at writing. I may just write about my day because a little birdie called google tells me that you can ‘draw inspiration from your daily life’. So you are going to be hearing a lot of nerdy teen angst stories, but I will try to refrain from #relatable moments.

I completely forgot to explain the meaning of this posts title. Fuck it. Can’t be bothered. It’s pretty self-explanatory. Figure it out bitches.

Love,

A.L

“Everything in this universe is either a potato or not a potato” – a guy I know

BewareOfSarcasm
Felt I had to put this in for the brain dead